If you find that you are arguing all the time at the moment, it may be time to look at the communication in your relationship. You may prefer to choose avoidance as the way of dealing with conflicts but this will only be a short term relief giving you longer term problems. Choose the right time and place (maybe not when putting the children to bed or when your partner is watching their favourite program) then mutually decide to listen to an irritation or grievance you are experiencing. For some this may feel like an opportunity to let out all the frustrations and anger that have been pent up – although cathartic on paper, it may be more helpful to look at one issue each that you can both discuss these two issues without it becoming overwhelming.
- Try to really listen to each other
- Be aware of whether you both tend to respond to each other in a defensive way
- Work on each other’s problems together. In other words, what can you both do to help the situation and vice versa
- Be respectful to each other
- Try not to bring in any other past arguments. Focus on the one thing you are looking at.
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